Oh say darling, its been such a long time since we last caught up, hasn’t it? I’ve been ridiculously busy with the house darling, raising my young chap and working part-time hours at the old firm. Its been such a joy!
Um…is that what I’ve been doing? The truth is, its been about a year and a half since my last post. That’s right…18 months! I’d love to say that every day has been a fantastic, insightful and joyful experience. But the truth is, being a mum is hard. Being a working mum is even harder. Like some days, its “I think I’ll walk out the door without you and not come back for a few hours” hard. Most of the time I hear myself saying “how does everyone else do it?” or “I thought I’d be better at it than this”. Most people seem to have their shiz together and some days I just want to lay on the couch eating Doritos.
So why now? Why after all this time have I decided to crack open this page and write another post to the world? The truth is, I’ve been writing posts all along in my head, I just never had the time or the energy to sit down and type them up. Which is a real shame because some of them were corkers! But here’s the deal…my son is almost about to turn two! I’m baking a second bun in my oven and I’m about to head back to work full time. If I don’t write a post now, I probably never will.
So here it is, the truth (according to me) about being a mother:-
- Your head might possibly explode. From stress, from happiness, from remembering everything you have to do for everyone all the time. Its ok. Just breathe.
- If it doesn’t explode, you’ve made it to another exciting stage. Celebrate that with wine, chocolate, sex, dinner out, a massage. Anything that lets you forget you almost lost your head in a grusome head-exploding incident.
- You don’t have to be everything, all the time, to everyone. Sometimes I’m a fantastic mum, sometimes I’m an amazing wife, sometimes I’m a rad sister/friend/daughter and sometimes I’m an incredible cook. But I’m rarely all these things all at the same time.
- Using your childs nap time to stare blankly at the wall instead of clean the house is perfectly acceptable. Sometimes I multitask by staring blankly, drinking a cup of tea and eating a biscuit. Now that’s talent.
- Its OK to forget you’re a mum sometimes. Like seriously, after my son is all tucked up in bed, cosy, safe and asleep – I sometimes forget he’s even there! And I’ll watch a whole movie, eat ice-cream, read a magazine or shave my legs. Like a normal person.
- APPRECIATE your partner/husband/mum/sister/girlfriend when they give you time out, even if its for five minutes. They might look after your child while you pee in peace. Or make you a coffee. Or even say “I’ll look after the baby, go do the shopping on your own”. Whatever it is, big or small. Appreciate it, say thank you, give them a hug and remember to pay it forward to another mum someday.
- HAVE FUN. Big statement right. Seriously, try to have some. I highly recommend daggy dancing and terrible singing. Your kid is going to think you’re Beyonce no matter how bad you are.
- In the words of John Farnham…”take the pressure down”. Listen to me when I say, don’t buy into unrealistic expectations. No mother is perfect. Not one. Do the best you can. And thats going to change on any given day.
- Learn to embrace bodily functions. Poo, pee, spew, snot, spit, tears. Its going to be all up in your face now. AND on your clothes.
- Remember, this is what you wanted. And you’re doing a great job. You don’t have to love it all the time but please remember why you got into the motherhood gig in the first place. Its all going to be ok.
The expectations I have on myself change daily, hourly or by the minute! And all I can say is there is no one way to be a mum, no one way to raise your child. I guarantee that most parents are making it up as they go. So if you’ve made it this far without falling asleep or rescuing your son of the kitchen bench before he puts his hand in the blender, you’ve done well lady and thanks for reading. I hope to make it back here before another few years goes by.
Over and out.