Did you hear something? Yeah, like a swoosh.

28 May

I think there are two types of people in the world when it comes to ‘clothes management’.

  1. The type who carefully sort their washing by lights, darks, colours, delicates, heavy-duty and woollens (huh?). Always select the correct cycle and water temperature. Pegs on the line with care.  Folds the clothes when getting them off the line. Then irons and hangs them immediately; OR
  2. The type who sorts by light or dark only. Chooses the regular cycle every time.  Pegs on the line with abandon. Then throws everything in the washing basket to remain until needed.

I’ll  give you one guess which type I am. Yeah…Number 2 with a bullet. I try to be a Number 1 laundry person. But there always seems to be far too many clothes and not enough time. I do not know how mothers of tiny little people manage. Seriously, all those little socks and jumpsuits and singlets. It’s too much to think about!

Boltanski’s No Man’s Land

I try to complete all my washing on the weekend…sometimes its ok to hang outside on the line. Sometimes I have to use the clothes airer inside. If it’s an inside job, the clothes can ‘air’ for many days. I just forget they’re there, waiting to be pulled off and dumped haphazardly into a basket.

Then every Monday I’m faced with the same problem. What….do….I….wear? I truly long for my school uniform days. One look, no thinking, just whip it on and away you go. But I have clothing freedom and with that comes responsibility. And ironing. I do iron you know. Every morning when I rifle through that basket looking for something that won’t make me look like I got dressed in the dark in the 1980’s. I just iron what I need for that day. Usually after I’ve showered and standing in a towel. I will confess to also burning my stomach several times from ironing in the nude. NOT RECOMMENDED. I once burned my stomach so badly, I had a long red scar that looked like I’d had some organ removed.

Photo cred: Wikipedia

I also do not own a full length mirror…so some days, whilst the top half matches well, covers well and makes me look like a real life adult worker, the bottom half could be a complete lucky dip. Lately I’ve found myself saying to my husband as I run out the door “Does this look ok? Do these shoes go with this skirt?” He always replies with “I don’t know these things”.  Last week after one of his responses I was so desperate I found myself on top of a dining room chair, trying to look at the my outfit in the dining room mirror. Lucky save, those shoes did NOT go with that skirt. Or the other day, I put on a lovely bone shirt dress only to see myself in the mirror looking like a safari hunter. All I needed was a hat and gun and I could be on the set of Out of Africa. Disgraceful.

Which all leads me to today’s outfit. It was cold this morning and I had the urge to wear pants. I can’t actually remember the last time I wore pants to work so finding a pair that fit, had a working zipper and no holes in them was a challenge. I selected what looked like a perfectly fine pair that met all the criteria. Until I started walking. They make the exact sound that George Costanza’s pants made from Seinfeld. A swoosh, swoosh, swoosh sound. By the time I discovered this, I was well and truly over the ordeal and decided to go with the George pants anyway.

So here’s to free styling your laundry and swooshy pants. Can you hear something?


Posted by on May 28, 2012 in Charmed, I'm Sure


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

12 responses to “Did you hear something? Yeah, like a swoosh.

  1. barelypoppins

    May 28, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    Lights and darks? Do they get separated?!

    • Jen

      May 28, 2012 at 10:19 pm

      Only when I’m feeling particularly meticulous. 🙂

  2. drivelology

    May 28, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    I don’t even even go so far as to sort lights and darks. I throw it all in the machine in one hit. My mum came to stay over Christmas and was absolutely HORRIFIED. She’s very anal with her washing regime and was far from impressed that whatever washing gene it is she possesses wasn’t passed onto me!
    I’d love to be able to get away with washing once a week. Unfortunately I have these things I call kids which means I have to do it every day. They really are an inconvenience sometimes!

    • Jen

      May 28, 2012 at 6:57 pm

      LOL…do we share the same mother?? They give that raised eyebrow look which says…”you’re doing what now with that blouse?” I don’t think I really own any blouses but still…

      • drivelology

        May 28, 2012 at 8:52 pm

        Ahhh yes. The raised eyebrows. Now that gene I DID get passed on to me. I do a mean eyebrow raise!

  3. Jen and Tonic

    May 28, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    The thing about swooshing when wearing work pants is sooooooo true! Seriously, I’m afraid I’m going to start a fire between my thighs.

    • Jen

      May 28, 2012 at 6:58 pm

      LOL…I recently read another post where that is called ‘firestarter thighs’. An actual true term used by youths in the 90’s. Whatever they’re called…I have em. 🙂

  4. John the Aussie

    May 28, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    I sort by clothing – work clothes – bedding & bathroom & kitchen/teatowel….

    • John the Aussie

      May 28, 2012 at 8:03 pm

      My wife refuses to let me wash anything these days except for workwear….

  5. viveka

    May 28, 2012 at 10:35 pm

    I have the laundry room booked this evening – – we have a brilliant set up when living in apartments in Sweden. Love washing .. hate ironing.

  6. Viciously Sweet

    May 30, 2012 at 7:28 am

    OMG. I hate pants “swoosh.” I feel that way when I wear tights or nylons and I’m “swishing” all over the place advertising my thunderous thighs!
    Dresses 4 life, by the way.

    • Jen

      May 30, 2012 at 7:40 am

      I agree with Dresses 4 Life…but even in the dead of winter??? Brrrr. Yeah ok, Dresses 4 Life!!! Hoorah!


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