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The sports that didn’t make it into the olympics.

With the imminent arrival of the 2012 London Olympic games about to grace our screens, I thought it was timely to look back at the sports which did not quite make it onto the olympic world stage…

  1. 80’s Shower Dancing – Passed over for the more popular sport of synchronised swimming, 1980’s shower dancing still possesses every bit of poise, coordination and skill. If you mess up one left elbow to right knee combo whilst blasting Olivia Newton-John’s Physical, you’d not only miss out on a medal but most likely end up getting stitches for a lacerated thigh.
  2. 100m Dash with Full Shopping Trolley to Car in the Rain – If you think the 100m hurdles puts fear into the hearts of men, spare a thought for the athletes which have to brave car parks full of potholes, distracted old lady drivers, heavy rain and the always difficult “where the heck are my keys” struggle at the finish line.
  3. Last Chocolate Biscuit Wrestle – Ok, so this has kinda made it into the olympics, minus the chocolate biscuit (or ‘cookie’ for my international pals). But originally this sport was derived from that moment when two hands collide on the way to reach for the last chocolate biscuit. This then proceeds to a ‘death stare’ show down. To the victor, goes the spoils…or cookie in this case.
  4. Hot Feet Dance – Forget rhythmic gymnastics people. The hot feet dance has been around for centuries. Imagine a beach or pool full of spectators. The sun is high in the sky. You see the water glistening in the distance. You face the judges, put your arms high in the air and begin your routine. A graceful hop, skip and jump over the hot sand or cement will see you triumphant. Lets not speak of the endless competitors who’ve sustained third degree burns on the soles of their feet. Its par for the course in this sport.
  5. Beer Fishing – Alright so technically this could have been a winter olympic sport with its link to sub-zero temperatures. But more often than not, it’s played in the summer months. Once all the ice in an esky has melted beyond 50%, brave competitors must plunge their arms into the freezing icy water to retrieve as many beers as they can. Sounds easy right? Well I know many men who train for years to get this one right. But time and time again, they go back to that esky to perfect their sport. That my friends…is true dedication.
So let us spare a thought for the humble athletes who we see every day, doing their best and training like demons in the hope that one day, these sports may be shared with the world. Just so you know, I’d have won 3 gold medals in 80’s Shower Dancing by now.

 
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Posted by on June 16, 2012 in Charmed, I'm Sure

 

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