RSS

Tag Archives: healthy-living

When your chest needs its own postcode.

In 2011, 672 women died as a result of injuries sustained from overly large breasts. That is probably a fictional statistic. Actually I know it is because I just made it up. But surely somewhere, this is the reality. Large breasts can be a hazard.

I can hear at least half of the population saying “So what’s your beef lady? Large mammary glands are the bomb diggity!” And while its true being a Chesty La Roux has its moments, largely they just seem to get in the way.

You know your breasts need their own postcode if you have every experienced any of the following:-

  • Clothes fit you everywhere else, except your chest;
  • You go to great pains to cover them up but they still bust out of your top with more determination than an inmate of Shawshank Redemption;
  • You can lose an entire course of a meal in your cleavage “Oh I’m sure that chicken Maryland was just on my plate…no, wait, here it is!”;
  • When you lie down, you feel like you may choke to death;
  • Going for a jog is an exercise in physics…weight + velocity x gravity = a reinforced sports bra; and
  • People become hypnotised with that space between your belly button and your face. Men, women, children….everyone. Even you. It has this power that humans are unable to resist.

In no way am I trying to give the illusion that my chest is the biggest (it ain’t) or the best (it certainly ain’t). But its been ample enough to cause a few problems along the way. So while I continue to find last nights dessert nestled sweetly my townships, I think its timely to celebrate women of all shapes and sizes. We never seem to be happy with what we’ve got…but I’m just happy I’ve got them at all.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on June 5, 2012 in Charmed, I'm Sure

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Bang! Bang!

Hello blog world!

As some of you may have noticed, I have been decidedly absent over the past couple of weeks. Never fear…I didn’t suffer from a cinnamon bun overdose. Although it was pretty close there for a while. I’ve actually been suffering from another infliction…work related stress.

Stress is a word that gets bandied around a lot these days… But what happens when that stress starts affecting all areas of your life? Before checking out completely, I was in need of a serious ‘time out’. I was required to take several days off to achieve that time out and it was a long time coming. Here are some things I’ve discovered along the way:

  1. It’s entirely possible to spend a full day in your pyjamas sitting on the couch drinking cups of tea only to get up for bathroom breaks or to make more tea.
  2. Showers are NOT necessary.
  3. Watching hours of tv without really remembering any of it can be achieved quite easily.
  4. Devouring an Easter egg you found in the pantry in approximately 2.6 seconds only makes you feel better for approximately 2.6 seconds.
  5. Listening to the sound of rain on your roof is as good as a hug from your mum.
  6. It’s ok to admit you don’t have ALL the answers.
  7. Crying at the lotto ad where the dad pays off his pregnant daughters mortgage is completely appropriate….that baby shall want for nothing.
  8. Building up your DVD collection over the last several years was really just a pointless exercise because you don’t want to watch any of them, you’ve already seen them at least twice and they take up far too much room.
  9. Re-heated nachos are a completely legitimate lunchtime meal.
  10. Sometimes you need to stop talking to everyone in order to hear what you have to say.

I’m still trying to find that part of me that got lost along the way in between deadlines and pressure and keeping all my balls in the air. What I have realised is that it’s not a one-off deal. It’s a worthy exercise to do for yourself whenever you think you need it. I updated my Facebook status saying “I’m trying to remember what its like to march to the beat of my own drum…” A good friend of mine replied “Try listening less…” Good advice from the dear Mr A.

So here I sit…in the the still and quiet air, not listening for my drum but waiting for it to start beating none-the-less. Bang bang.

 
10 Comments

Posted by on April 19, 2012 in Charmed, I'm Sure

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sweat like you mean it…

So…the word is, I’m exercising.

Two days ago I went for my first running interval training session. I got home exhausted and ravenous. I raided the fridge all Nigella-esque midnight feast style and demolished a left-over roast chicken. I’m not sure if that defeated the point of going in the first place.

Tonight I returned home even more exhausted and with aching muscles everywhere. Are you supposed to get sore shoulders when you go jogging? It seems totally ridiculous to me.

Anyway, tonight I resisted the alluring calls of the fridge and sat down to do a quick email check before hitting the showers. Whilst waiting for the inbox icon to tell me if I had any new mail, the most incredible thing happened….I felt a trickle down my back. At first I thought it was just a clothes label tickling me….but oh no peeps, this was a real life sweat trickle. I was sweating like a real-life jogging girl!!!

I worked pretty hard to get that sweat happening….holla!

P to the S… and before you’re all like, whatevs – I sweat when I hang the washing out. I’m simply not a sweaty person. So this, my friends…is big. 

 
4 Comments

Posted by on March 29, 2012 in Charmed, I'm Sure

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Couch to 5k – Week 1

Whoever coined the phrase “couch potato” must have been talking about me. I have a well defined ass-groove carved into my recliner. It loves me and I love it. It’s a sweet pillowy heaven that hugs my shapely curves.  Have I painted a vivid enough picture yet? Good. Well, very soon my loving recliner is about to feel the icey coldness of my absence. Yes, that’s right. I’m starting an exercise regime!

Throughout my entire existence I have been prone to fits and bursts of enthusiastic exercise obsessions. In my (much) younger days I played netball for quite a few years. I played the Centre position…very fitting as I don’t mind being the centre of attention most of the time. Our team was called the Kitty Kats and after each game, our coaches gave each player a mini Kit Kat chocolate. I won’t lie and say that it wasn’t a large motivation for playing. But what kind of message was that sending a young, impressionable, budding athlete? Exercise like a crazy person and then eat chocolate? I’m telling you it must have stuck because I seem to reward myself the same way these days (minus the exercise).

That's me at the peak of my athletic career...with the big C on my bib.

So the truth is I’m getting older. And my body doesn’t seem to bounce back from eating binges the way it used to. Enter….technology! Today I downloaded the Ease Into 5k app. Its designed to get me from the warm embrace of the couch, to running 5 km’s in just 8 short weeks. I’m going to tell you straight up this body is not the body of a runner. But I won’t let that stop me. Uh ah, no way.

Starting tomorrow…(tonight I have to cook a chocolate cake for my friends birthday and yes I will lick the bowl) I will be lacing up my runners for the first of my runs/walks/panting/hobbling home exercise.

Wait! What’s that I hear? It’s the eye of the tiger, its the thrill of the fight….

Wish me luck blog-o-sphere!

 
7 Comments

Posted by on March 26, 2012 in Charmed, I'm Sure

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,