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The Ultimate Placebo

It seems I have been neglecting you all. If you can believe it, its been almost 6 weeks since I’ve written a post! There has been a good reason, which I hope to share with you one day soon. However, mostly I think it has a lot to do with the Winter Blues. Its been horribly cold here with snow and sleet and rain and ice. Brrrrrrr! All that my mind and body has wanted to do has been sit by the fire and crochet. Or watch old episodes of Super Nanny. Needless to say, that doesn’t make for great post material.

My husband has had a bad case of winter doldrums too. We keep telling each other we need a holiday but we usually just say “yeah, we sure do” and then go right back to watching Jo Frost say “that behaviour is unasseptable.”

So yesterday as I sat in the long-lost sunshine reading the Sunday paper, I happened to stumble across a holiday special to Fiji. I tore it out of the paper and this morning I stuck it on the fridge. When I saw my husband I subtly winked towards the fridge. “That’s weird.” he said. “What is?” I asked. He replied “I was only thinking about going on a holiday to Fiji last night.”  Before he could finish his sentence I was already there, sitting on the beach, drinking a cocktail.

I know this is crazy but today I feel so much better. Just the idea of a holiday has picked me up and I feel like buckets of sunshine are pouring over me. because I’m not one to let a potential opportunity escape me, at lunchtime I hot footed it straight to the Travel Agents! She talked to me about all the options and I expressly told her I wanted a Beachfront Bure. She sent me away with lots of ideas and a tantalising, glossy brochure. Even having that brochure on my desk seemed to brighten my office.

So, who knows if I will ever get my beachfront room with sun-loungers overlooking the rich blue ocean. But today, it doesn’t matter. I had a little holiday in my mind. (And in that holiday, I didn’t get sunburnt).

 
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Posted by on September 3, 2012 in Charmed, I'm Sure

 

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The sports that didn’t make it into the olympics.

With the imminent arrival of the 2012 London Olympic games about to grace our screens, I thought it was timely to look back at the sports which did not quite make it onto the olympic world stage…

  1. 80’s Shower Dancing – Passed over for the more popular sport of synchronised swimming, 1980’s shower dancing still possesses every bit of poise, coordination and skill. If you mess up one left elbow to right knee combo whilst blasting Olivia Newton-John’s Physical, you’d not only miss out on a medal but most likely end up getting stitches for a lacerated thigh.
  2. 100m Dash with Full Shopping Trolley to Car in the Rain – If you think the 100m hurdles puts fear into the hearts of men, spare a thought for the athletes which have to brave car parks full of potholes, distracted old lady drivers, heavy rain and the always difficult “where the heck are my keys” struggle at the finish line.
  3. Last Chocolate Biscuit Wrestle – Ok, so this has kinda made it into the olympics, minus the chocolate biscuit (or ‘cookie’ for my international pals). But originally this sport was derived from that moment when two hands collide on the way to reach for the last chocolate biscuit. This then proceeds to a ‘death stare’ show down. To the victor, goes the spoils…or cookie in this case.
  4. Hot Feet Dance – Forget rhythmic gymnastics people. The hot feet dance has been around for centuries. Imagine a beach or pool full of spectators. The sun is high in the sky. You see the water glistening in the distance. You face the judges, put your arms high in the air and begin your routine. A graceful hop, skip and jump over the hot sand or cement will see you triumphant. Lets not speak of the endless competitors who’ve sustained third degree burns on the soles of their feet. Its par for the course in this sport.
  5. Beer Fishing – Alright so technically this could have been a winter olympic sport with its link to sub-zero temperatures. But more often than not, it’s played in the summer months. Once all the ice in an esky has melted beyond 50%, brave competitors must plunge their arms into the freezing icy water to retrieve as many beers as they can. Sounds easy right? Well I know many men who train for years to get this one right. But time and time again, they go back to that esky to perfect their sport. That my friends…is true dedication.
So let us spare a thought for the humble athletes who we see every day, doing their best and training like demons in the hope that one day, these sports may be shared with the world. Just so you know, I’d have won 3 gold medals in 80’s Shower Dancing by now.

 
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Posted by on June 16, 2012 in Charmed, I'm Sure

 

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Jen Versus the Volcano

It’s 1990 and Tom Hanks agrees to make a quirky movie called…Joe Versus the Volcano. As an 11 year old, I happily emersed myself in this movie and loved the montage where he was stranded on his four watertight, all purpose trunks in the middle of the ocean. But it wasn’t until I watched it recently, that it struck an entirely different chord with me.

As a kid, I used to fast forward the opening sequence where Joe Banks and the rest of the workers trudge slowly into work, looking depressed and as grey as the sidewalk. It was boring, it was bland. And I guess that’s exactly the point. Joe was living this ghastly conformist life that made him sick. He didn’t even know why he did things…he didn’t question them. He just went to work every day, half asleep. Gah.

Besides the excellent rectal probe references, which I obviously hadn’t picked up before, his arrival at work made me draw some comparisons to my own morning ritual. Ok, so I don’t have it as bad as poor Joe (and I don’t work with rectal probes), but I often feel blotchy and drained sitting under the fluorescent lights. And I swear to you that my glands go up and my throat feels scratchy when I arrived there and turn on my computer. (Maybe its just because its flu season?)

There is a scene where Joe’s Manager – Mr Waturi is on the phone repeating himself…”But can he do the job. I know he can get the job but can he DO the job? I’m NOT arguing that with you. I’m not arguing that with YOU. I’m not ARGUING that with you. I’m not ARGUING that with you Harry! Harry… Harry… Yeah Harry… but can he DO the job. I know he can GET the job but can he do the job?” I’m pretty sure I’ve said the exact same thing. Well….almost.

A terrible hypochondriac, Joe is told he has a “brain cloud”. An incurable disease with no symptoms. In fact, you don’t even realise there’s a problem until you’re dead. So after an offer he can’t refuse, he is given the option to live out his remaining days like a hero…and embark on the adventure of a lifetime. He sets sail to the island of Waponi Woo where he will jump into a live volcano to appease the volcano god.

The best quote of the whole movie is when Patricia says to Joe:

“My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement.”

So the question remains…when do I book myself on the first yacht to Waponi Woo? When do I wake up and start living in a state of constant, total amazement?

 
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Posted by on May 29, 2012 in Tune In...

 

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Lock up your slurpee machines!

It all started 97 days ago. I was new to Blog Town and happened to stumble across LL Cool Jen’s blog….Sips of Jen and Tonic. She’s like the bomb and way too talented. She should have her own column in a world syndicated newspaper.

So when she invited me to go and hang out with her in America…I packed my hip hop hat and was on that plane in a jiffy. (I’m not sure if Hip Hop and Jiffy have ever been in a sentence before, but they are now).

Jen opened my eyes to the culture, to the adventure, to the wonders of her home town. Now I know what I’d look like with rockin’ facial hair.

Please check out our adventures here on Jen’s The Saucy Aussie post.Thanks for the memories girl…we’ll always have Freedom Fries.

AND…if you have decided to become a follower as a result of Jens post…welcome to the team y’all! This is the time when it would be way cooler if background music started playing like a movie soundtrack. Until WordPress figures out how to do that, this will have to do. So maybe press the link below then go back and read the paragraph again.

HERE COMES THE BOOM!

Photo Cred: Salt n Pepa…I mean Sips of J&T.

 
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Posted by on May 21, 2012 in Charmed, I'm Sure

 

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Who puts the ‘it’ in community?

I’ve recently returned from a trip to the Hawkesbury River with my husband and his family. They have a place in a holiday park and have done so for nearly 15 years. Weekends, public holidays and random midweek jaunts have all been spent there.

The first time I was taken there I spent the entire car trip clutching my freshly made caramel slice thinking ‘will they like me?’. See, not only have my in-laws owned a place there for years, so have all the other people in their street. Before I had even packed my overnight bag, I’d heard numerous tales from the good times at the river. I must admit, I was confused as to who was who and who did that funny thing that time etc. And I was anxious wondering if I’d be accepted by them all.

My worry was pointless. As soon as we arrived I was treated like a long-lost friend. I was kissed and hugged and handed a drink. I spent the night sitting around the fire making new friends.

The river owns a special magic. It infects you with it when you arrive. Time slows down and the temperature heats up. But it’s not just those things that have you singing “we’re going to Bonnydoon’ on the way there. (If you’re not an Aussie and/or have not seen the movie The Castle, that reference just went way over your head).

During my last visit, we were all sitting around the communal fire in the middle of the street. All the different families sharing food and wine and general good cheer. There is a pleasant familiarity from spending so much time with people at their most intoxicated relaxed. Everyone looks after each other’s children, we all feed each other and someone is always ready to listen to your latest story/trouble/news. You see, these people have created their own little community. A river community.

I’m convinced we could take aspects of river living back to the real world and be much richer for it. Well, probably not the happy hour at 3pm and in bed by 8pm thing which always seems to happen to me down there. But….just saying.

Here’s to the river! Always so pleasant to visit…always so darn hard to leave.

Can you see the Easter Bunny making a special delivery?

 
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Posted by on April 9, 2012 in Charmed, I'm Sure

 

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I’m green…like the Hulk!

Ok, so I’m not turning into a raging green monster with bulging muscles and torn off pants. Well, not right this second anyway (the last week has been debatable). But I am green…with envy.

My good friend has just escaped and gone on a tropical North Queensland holiday for 5 days. And today, whilst I was sitting at my desk, looking out to rainy miserable weather, she thought she’d send me messages with pictures of her swimming under a waterfall, wearing summer clothes and generally having a super fun time. I’m ecstatically happy for her but feel its rather dud that I’m not on my own tropical holiday.

The only thing I could think which may cheer me up some, was to look back at some pictures of my own north Queensland holiday…and pretend I was still there. So here is a picture of me and a friend scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef. The groper fish is particularly charming but looks like he’s rolling his eyes at yet another telly tubby looking tourist. Pffft! (I’m the one on the right…in case you couldn’t tell).

Holy mother of coral! Here comes another one!

 
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Posted by on March 19, 2012 in Charmed, I'm Sure

 

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