When you realise cheese is evil.

21 Feb

I actually feel sorry for cheese. On one hand it’s so delicious, no one can resist it. On the other hand, it tries to kill you. I’m sure it feels torn between delighting you and murdering you.

I’m a self-confessed lover of cheese….love it. However I’ve been told dairy does NOT agree with my blood type. (Huh?) I’m sure when I look at a piece of cheese it’s not saying…

“Hey fellas, look! That chick has A positive blood. Wait until she takes a bite, then we’ll exact our revenge. Mwahhahahaaa!” 

Last night I was making dinner. (Monday night’s dinner is hardly exciting.) And as I was rushing around, I dumped a huge lot of grated cheese into my dish. “So?” I hear you saying. Well it happens my usual happy, let me delight you cheese had turned on me. It was peppered with tiny spores of destruction.

Don’t get me wrong, during my very poor London living days, I was known for scraping off tiny spots of mould on my bread to have some toast. And it didn’t kill me. But I figured I couldn’t really justify mixing it into my dish when I had a perfectly good fresh bag of cheese in the fridge. So I managed to remove said murderous plot from our dinner.

Despite its continual attempts at making me sick, grossing me out and letting me down, I still love you cheese. You will never turn my love for you.


Posted by on February 21, 2012 in Charmed, I'm Sure, Fire Up the Rayburn


Tags: , , , , ,

7 responses to “When you realise cheese is evil.

  1. Aleisha Rogers

    February 21, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    I made pasta bake one night during my first 3 months of pregnancy. It was bad enough feeling sick at the sight and smell of food let alone putting your hand onto a bag of grated cheese you thought was ok but was actually moldy!! Yuk yuk yuk! Feel your pain Jen x

    • Jen

      February 21, 2012 at 2:12 pm

      Cheese does not discriminate between its pray. LOL.

  2. Viciously Sweet

    February 21, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    I didn’t realize cheese is so Shakespearean plotting against you and such! Thank goodness you had its doppelganger waiting in the wings of your fridge to replenish your dinner. Also, I am really wanting a cheesy dinner tonight so I will check if its plotting against me…

    • Jen

      February 21, 2012 at 2:47 pm

      I actually think cheese could be considered ‘viciously sweet’. Don’t you? Except for wasabi cheese, which is really quite addictive but devoid of all sweetness.

      Be careful tonight my dear…if I don’t hear from you in a couple of days…I’ll alert the authorities.

  3. Jen and Tonic

    February 21, 2012 at 3:57 pm

    Cheese is that guy you have a really great date with, and who waits three days until he….gives you massive diarrhea. Wait, no…that’s not right.

    Sorry to hear about your misadventures with cheese. A friend of mine had similar problems and told me switching to higher-quality cheese helped.

    • Jen

      February 21, 2012 at 4:05 pm

      LOL! I hope you haven’t had any dates with guys who give you diarreah!

      Hmmm, so what you’re saying is expensive cheese is less evil. Ok ok…I guess it does have a better education. 🙂

  4. Jenny

    February 21, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    Jen, I am pretty sure it is just soft Brie Camb and that mouldy stuff.Hard cheese go for it.


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